The Great Comme Stimulus:
Inside the sale of a lifetime

Written by: Christopher Chance
Photography by: Sam Wachs

What is a sale to you? I feel like these days we are very loose with the term. 20%? Bullshit. 30%? Ok I’m listening, with 60% being the highest you usually see, and it’s never on something you actually like. This is the dilemma many of us high fashion consumers face in 2023. Ssense sales aren’t good anymore, and waiting till the end of the year to get one of your favorite pieces at a discount becomes more and more unappealing. With all this being said, the great gods at Comme Des Garçon have decided to set a standard for this generation of retail. For the first time in 8 years, Dover Street Market held their “Market Market Monolithic Magic” sample sale.

With a UK version happening a couple of weeks ago, US Tik Tok users were bombarded with videos of British Comme hauls. My anger and jealousy hit a fusion dance as I saw BALES OF Nike Comme sneakers, and CDG Homme pieces for prices I couldn’t even fathom. Something had to give, and a nigga like me was gon leave with SOMETHING. Certain popular brands do an annual sale that captures their audience such as Supreme, Rick Owens, and Nepenthes, but it’s never higher than 60%. Comme des Garçon is one of the longest-standing fashion houses on earth, with a magnitude of brands under their umbrella, including all that is stocked at their infamous retailer DSM. These dudes had over 80k items to clear out, so they pulled the ultimate boss move.

80% off.

We lined up Friday at 3 pm and had to sign a waiver before receiving a wristband. After about 45 minutes we finally get in, I checked my bag, put on my AirPods - and got to work. Funny enough before my copywriter career I was a certain supermodel’s assistant. Throughout my time working for them, I was instructed to create a mockup of a Dress made of Ghana must-go bags, I ended up learning so much about them which lead me to be surprised yet relieved when I saw the pile of them - serving as our shopping bags.

I am a very fast and efficient shopper, maybe it’s my ADHD combined with years of thrifting that had prepared me for the two floors of madness that were this sale. Immediately I circled the first floor, and the first thing I saw was the sneakers, I instantly grabbed a pair of black Prestos and black waffle runners. After that I started scanning the floor, figuring out the layout, and making sure I knew where I was going - being I only had 2 hours.

The funniest part about this sale is that everyone you know no matter what status is in their most vulnerable, almost primal state. From skate kids, to CDG veterans - We’re scavenging, trying on clothes on the spot, or going to dedicated changing areas that had no fitting rooms, just mirrors. I found a comme skirt and had to try it on, where I found myself amongst others quickly changing their clothes to get a glimpse of what this garment looked like on them. After seeing the skirt fit perfectly, I quickly ran back into the sale and started sifting through the accessories, women’s section, and random houseware. I didn’t even realize until like 30 minutes in that there was a second floor, I ducked down there and was blown away even more.

So much Gosha lol, is it bad if you buy it 80% off? That’s what kept going through my head as I looked at their expectational Adidas collab. I ended up meeting back up with my friends about 35 minutes in, we compared and contrasted picks, gave advice on what to get, and then dispersed again. The craziest part of this sale is that on top of it being just the most random selection of streetwear and high fashion, it’s also in the craziest places. I found one of the most important places in the sale was what I will call “don't want” bins. God damn did a lot of people not want some fire shit. I found a really cute Homme Deux tie in the bottom of one, along with a bunch of wallets. Man, the accessories were so slept on god damn shout out to everyone who got some essentials like glasses, belts, and other random items we needed but didn’t need. 

There was an interesting selection of clothes, with people that went on the first day finding stuff like ERL, Telfar, Comme x Supreme, and plenty more coveted DSM bangers. When we got there though it was still plentiful, yet those pieces were either hidden or completely gone. I feel like the ultimate steal of this sale was easily the sneakers. Every single comme footwear collab of the last 5 years was there for the taking. Salomons, Asics, New Balance, and don’t forget the holy grail, NIKEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I think the hardest part of this day was simply leaving. I could have stayed in that place all day, sifting through the greatest thrift store of all time. This is like goodwill bins on steroids, but finally, I was forced to make my selection. We had 20 mins until closing and I am not the type of guy to be the last person anywhere. I eventually looped around the entire store and walked to the checkout where I was greeted by a nice young man named Owen (shout out my brudda Owen) and I had to get my shit together. I ended up leaving a pair of footscapes which I kinda regret but everything happens for a reason. I ended up checking out (apple pay shawty) and got my ass out of there. It felt like leaving the shower when it feels too good, or getting out of the pool before you're ready. I looked back at the sale and said goodbye, the angelic moment was over.

Eventually after circling around a hundred times, I found some pieces I was satisfied with, below you’ll see my haul:

I got a CDG Black Skirt for 90, a CDG Shirt Futura button-up for 180 (they kinda was bugging), an Homme Deux tie for like 20, a CDG Shirt Boys long sleeve for 80, Homme Plus Prestos for 85, and CDG Black Waffle Runners for 65. Not pictured is a Louie Lopez Fucking Awesome Shirt that I got for 5IVE DOLLARS, Also got an Online Ceramics shirt for like 15. Overall insane day.

After my party of 4 was all checked out, we reconvened outside to gather our thoughts and celebrate this dream-like day, a victory for all fly niggas around the world that suffered for years looking at CDG with HUNGRY POCKETS. As we waited we all started showing our favorite pieces, seen below!

As we were leaving we decided to ask people what their favorite pieces are, it was so amazing to see people walking out triumphantly, possessing the new statement piece in their wardrobe.

Each person trotted off after we took their picture like a kid that just left a candy store. And that's the point, everyone for a second was a kid in ToysRus again. The dopamine released this day is something I won't get for a very long time. Someone needs to create a drug where every time you take it, you mentally float back to the CDG sale that was for some reason near the fucking united nations building? THIS WAS AN INTERNATIONAL AFFAIR. THIS WAS HISTORIC. IF YOU LIVE IN NYC AND DIDN’T GO TO THIS - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PAYING RENT HERE FOR? All in all, this was one of the greatest days of my life and I pray to god they do this again within the next 5 years because I am willing and ready to spend every single dime of money I have on discounted Comme.

The craziest part about this is the stimulus that is about to hit the streets. From the sneakers that are going to be at every single trendy party for the next few years, to the random Comme piece your crush will be wearing as you look at them from across the subway platform, Comme just certified and secured their position in the next generation of fashion by simply giving us the clothes, and also simultaneously showed us that these unimaginably priced pieces of clothing are simply just fabrics sewn together, with the value being marked by imaginary numbers created by someone who probably only looks at the items as SKU’s. They let us see behind the curtain, and god did we love what we saw.

Thank you all for reading, Christopher Comme Des Garçon Chance signing out. 

madeintheurl 2023