What’s Hot with Lena
EPISODE 7:
Welcome the f&*k BACK, hotties!
I’ve missed endlessly ranting sharing hot shit and hot takes with the world wide web so, so much
Written by: Magdalena O’Neal
May 15, 2024
I’ve been MIA for the last month (and some change) doing a whole lot of R&D, so the format of things are a little different now. We’re switching from weekly to monthly—mostly just to make everybody miss me a little bit more—and are adding some recurring features like astrology, terminology breakdowns, and a brief round up of general hot shit. SO without further ado, keep reading to find out What’s Hot this month (and I promise to never leave you like that ever again).
Hot Shit
Bet you’re curious what’s overwhelmingly hot in the world right now, huh? Well look no further as I’ve rounded up three things that are hotter than that pile of your ex's clothes you set on fire.
1. Nara Smith
I really, really wish I could explain why I personally am so obsessed with everything Nara does. I’m not sure if it’s the soft voiceover she uses, the fact that her food actually looks good (and that means a lot coming from me), or the simplicity of her daily life that allows her to make bread, peanut butter, and jelly in a matter of 60 seconds. Whatever kind of crack she’s cooking up we are definitely all smoking it because my friends and I refer to her on a first name basis like she’s a part of the crew. Nara—is it okay if I call you Nara, no Smith?—has cracked the code to the internet. Oh, you haven’t tapped in yet? Are you living under a rock?
Nara Smith is the tradwife legend that’s breaking the internet with multiple millions of views on every TikTok she posts. I was so happy to see she had a happy and healthy baby girl this past month, but I also selfishly felt nervous that I may not get any new cooking content until she’s done reveling in the joy and celebration that is bringing life into this world… Am I okay? Low and behold, there is nothing to fear, as she returned to the Tok in less than a week postpartum. As I tackle my online obsessions with people I have and will probably never meet, I will share more in the coming month about the modern toxicity of the dehumanization of influencers.
2. Not Stanley Cups
You know, there’s a past version of me that was raving and rallying to the whole world about how badly I needed a Stanley cup. I talked about it so much that this past Christmas it was the best gift I received. But now… now my Stanley sits in a crate of storage at a good friend's house in Mexico City along with a bevy of other items I figured I could go up to six months without seeing, and that’s simply because of the lead leak. When the white moms of TikTok took to their timelines to share that their beloved cups were testing positive for lead after selling out Target, physically fighting each other, and basically robbing Starbucks locations nationwide to get their hands on them, I felt disgusting sipping from mine.
For a few weeks, it was the light of my life. Filling it up throughout the day was one of the only things bringing me joy and my skin was glowing from my increased water intake—but how can a girl sip tap water in peace knowing the lead isn’t coming from her very own pipes but instead from the cup she has come to call a friend? The answer is, she can’t. Stanley cups are out—and I just don’t know what kind of water bottle will ever replace it if I’m being quite frank. However, I am open to suggestions, ideally ones that don’t leak when held upside down (a fatal flaw of the Stanley design).
3. Dinner Instead of Drinks
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Now this hard fact here has nothing to do with TikTok—you’re welcome. As summer drifts upon us, there will be no more aperol spritz link ups, but instead light bites at bistros, cafes, and restaurants with sidewalk seating. “OMG! I haven’t seen you in years! Let’s get a drink!” is so last year. While dinner may include a bottle of natural wine carefully selected from a list of 100+ foreign words, countries, and grape varietals none of us know anything about, it’s not about the drinks, but instead the small plates. I love a crudite, cheese plate, cutely folded freshly sliced meats, and too-tiny servings of pasta—and my homegirls love it too. 
This past week I went to Los Angeles for 48 hours and instead of meeting up at a bullshit bar like Bacari or El Prado, the girls and I hit Cafe Triste. I want to see cute vintage plates, perfectly blanched vegetables, snap peas, and slices of cake instead of martinis and cosmos. Get off of Sunset Blvd., stray away from LES dive bars, and head to a spot with real seats, snacks, and sexy little bevs to clink with (Clandestino doesn’t count).
Social Snax:
Hike Clerb + The North Face
My sponsored content and algorithm are obsessed with the Hike Clerb and North Face clothing, accessory, and shoe collection and so am I. Hike Clerb serves as a nonprofit that bridges the gap between women of color and the great outdoors! And not only have they taken thousands of women across the country on excursions like fishing, surfing, hiking, camping and every other activity you can imagine, they’ve also just launched a collection in collaboration with none other than THE NORTH FACE. Yes, the iconic brand with the Half Dome logo! I’ve never had more sponsored ads that I actually enjoy receiving. I’m just going to keep talking about it to keep the good ads rolling, brb.
What Is:
A Playoffs Princess
I’m not sure if this is popularly used to describe this type of person but someone called me this and it’s stuck ever since. Think of a pillow princess but this type of girl only cares about basketball when the bars and parties and social media posts are dominated by the playoffs—making her an official playoffs princess. You might see this hot girl courtside (or pretty damn close) starting at the first round of a conference playoff game or yelling in front of a television on her IG story at game results for the first time all year. Either way, this is your time to ask that girl out because odds are she’s rooting for the same team as you—you’re welcome.
Cafe Astrology 2.0
Welcome! This isn’t the basic bitch birth chart calculator you used when you were 18—or in the last six months if you’re new to this not true to this. I’ve enlisted a true genius to help us all live more astrologically sound lives each month, please give a hot round of applause to Alesia Carter. She’s an OG influencer, a serious hot girl, my personal tarot reader (seriously, if you’ve considered tarot, book with her, it might change your life), and astrological icon. Each month she’s going to share a bit about what’s going on in the stars above us and a little blurb for each sign to keep in mind. After her blurb, you’ll find an action item from me, because astrology is cool and all, but having some guidance to do about it is even better! My suggestions will mostly be about food (hence the cafe part) and will align with her suggestions for each sign. This month, it’s all about those rising signs!
After what feels like an emotional roller coaster ride, May brings a promising lift with a sprinkle of Jupiter blessings. If you didn’t get the opportunity to take advantage of the New Moon energy earlier in the month, then mark your calendar for May 18 when Jupiter in Taurus will form a conjunction with the Sun in Taurus - creating a "cazimi" that is considered the luckiest day of the year. Anticipate positive effects on your relationships, finances, and career on or following this auspicious day.
- Alesia Carter, Cosmic Tarot
Aries Rising: Embrace the unexpected shifts in your financial world and relationships that may bring surprises and bold, beneficial moves.
Pro tip: Get the $20 salad from that spot you like that always has too high of prices for the portion. #healthiswealth
Taurus Rising: This is your moment to shine, with the cosmic spotlight on your sign. The powerful conjunctions herald a personal revolution, offering growth and electrifying changes in self-expression and desires.
Pro tip: Indulge in dessert, something decadent, like a four tiered chocolate cake.
Gemini Rising: Secrets and serendipity intertwine as hidden truths and spiritual insights emerge. Let these revelations guide your path to healing and personal expansion.
Pro tip: While it’s basically summer, it’s sounding like you need to make a pot of feel good soup (ideally loaded with greens) to help your body reset and recenter.
Cancer Rising: Your social circle and dreams for the future are highlighted, bringing joyous connections and sudden, exciting shifts in your aspirations. Embrace the community and new visions that beckon.
Pro tip: Quit it with the one on one dinners and get all your friends together, even if the cliques don’t usually collide.
Leo Rising: Career and public image take center stage with unexpected opportunities for growth and recognition. Be ready to leap into new ventures that promise both prosperity and personal fulfillment.
Pro tip: Up your morning routine, whether it’s treating yourself to a takeout coffee or cooking eggs yourself, make the most of your day by starting it on a sexy self serving note.
Virgo Rising: An urge for adventure and wisdom calls, opening doors to unexpected journeys or studies. You’re getting the green light to open up your path to broaden your horizons in exhilarating ways.
Pro tip: Maybe this is #obvious, but it’s giving expand your palette. Maybe plan a trip based on a dish you love—because what’s better than having pasta in bed? Having pasta in Rome!
Libra Rising: Deep transformations and surprising financial gains are possible, as the planetary alignments illuminate your sectors of shared resources and rebirth. Embrace change and the opportunities it brings.
Pro tip: I think you need to start drinking smoothies in the morning loaded with vegetables, sea moss, and all things good for you. Be reborn a better and healthier version of yourself.
Scorpio Rising: Relationships and commitments are in the cosmic spotlight, offering breakthroughs and fresh starts. Be open to new connections and the evolution of current ones, as they bring unexpected joy.
Pro tip: Have a picnic in a pretty park, maybe overlooking the ocean, just around sunset and try your hardest to see the stars with a bottle of vino and a sweet treat by your side.
Sagittarius Rising: Your daily routines and health undergo exciting changes, promising improvements and innovations. Embrace new habits and work opportunities that align with your highest well-being.
Pro tip: Whatever your health problems may be, cutting out gluten is the cure all, try it for one week and report back.
Capricorn Rising: Creativity, love, and pleasure are illuminated, bringing joyous and unexpected moments. Let your heart lead the way to new artistic projects and romantic adventures.
Pro tip: Cook dinner at home atleast three times this week and remind yourself culinary craft is also a form of creative expression. Transform each ingredient into something completly new!
Aquarius Rising: Your home and family life are due for positive changes that will provide a solid base for growth and restructuring that is always for your highest good. Embrace the fresh energies that enhance your personal life and bring more fulfillment.
Pro tip: Gather those you love and care about most around a table for a meal. Break bread, sip wine, and find never ending joy in the little things you love about people.
Pisces Rising: Communication and connections are highlighted, bringing surprising news and stimulating conversations. Seize the opportunities for learning and sharing that come your way, as they promise to be enriching.
Pro tip: Please, I’m begging, take yourself to a solo meal. Use the first half to settle your thoughts and the second half to talk to strangers.
*Each and every week—unless I’m hungover—you can find my ever-so-eloquent word vomits on this fabulous website for you to peruse, laugh, and take note of. If you love it already and don’t want to miss a beat, drop your email down below for weekly reminders when a new post goes live.*
madeintheurl 2024